sneeze queen

person who follows a dramatic and climactic build up of noises and facial contortions with a wimpy sneeze

sick lady : *hhhh-hh-uh-ahh-ahhhhhhuuuahhhh-hhhhhhhh........chew*

bus passenger: damn sneeze queen

48👍 5👎

.copm

Something you type, instead of .com, in moments of paranoia and pervertedness.

::youporn.copm (CTRL+A)
::youporn.copm (CTRL+A)
::youporn.com (yay)

39👍 1👎

Floaty

Randomly found in light colored drinks, preferably those with ice. Noticed only AFTER you've drank from it already. Followed by bouts of denial over how it got there. Subject to great debate and one of life's greatest mysteries.

<Kev spots a floaty in the pink lemonade he's been sipping>

Kev:(sigh).....fuck.

31👍 12👎

Jaw Meat

The stuff you bite off on accident. Usually when your eating too fast, or chewing gum, or just not paying attention. After which you spend the whole day licking the inside of your mouth because some how you think it will make it heal quicker.

Los: *scarfing roast beef Ramen* ...ouch!

Kev: Jaw meat, again. Fuckin rookie.

23👍 1👎

Yield

Averting eye contact to the ground in the last few seconds before you walk past someone. Then as you're passing them you look up again. Something we all do because we've become such a wimpy species.

A fun game played with an innocent passerby, that can be used to intimidate any and all who dare challenge your mighty gaze, bringing out the bitch in them.

Person A: <walking north>
Person B: <walking south>

Person A: <yields eye contact>
Person B: <watching out the corner of eyes>

Person A: <eyes back to the front as they pass>
Person B: <feels like a Pimp cause that ho put her eyes to the curb real proper-like or else she would of been out of pocket>

31👍 17👎

Landing Gear

the basic act of placing a sheet of toilet paper in the toilet before you take a shit, with the sole purpose of preventing water from bouncing up your ass.

also a means to mute the turd-to-water impact

(Boyfriend innocently walking past the bathroom)

*cloink*

Boyfriend: Babe, I totally just heard your turd hit the water. And I'm pretty sure water just shot up your ass.

Girlfriend: Yeah, sorry. Forgot to use my landing gear.

69👍 26👎

Rogue Lash

An eye lash that kamikazes into your food. Instant appetite killer. Unavoidable and always when you least expect it.

Kev clothslined the waiter because he found a rogue lash in his cobb salad.

29👍 5👎