Doctor

a) the profession your parents wanted you to go into when they found out you went into $150,000 worth of debt to get into art school
b) the title that parents had of a dead child claim they “could have earned if they had the chance”
c) Bernie Sanders’ worst enemy

a) You had to break our hearts like this? You could have been a doctor!
b) He could have been a doctor if the drunk driver hadn’t hit him! Why, God?!?!
c) “You people are the problem plaguing this country! How dare you charge the middle class these prices!”
“That’s nice, Mr. Sanders. Now, please bend over and cough for me.”

Suicidal Mary

A specific combination of fountain drinks from a fast food restaurant that entails 2 parts Coke, 3 parts orange Fanta, 1 part Dr. Pepper, 1 1/2 parts Sprite, and two dashes of that Hi-C juice that’s always there (possibly lemonade if one is at a Chic-Fil-A or Raising Canes)

“Hey man I’m going to get a refill. You want one?”
“Yeah sure, can I get a Suicidal Mary?”