Steven Seagal

An actor who is funnier to use in "Chuck Norris jokes" instead of Chuck Norris simply beacause the fact of that he is more awesome.

He is good friends with Jackie Chan.
He speaks fluent japanese
He is an Aikido master of 7th dan.
He owns a dojo in japan.
He is almost always seen in a ponytail.
He is the greatest man alive.

Besides making badass action movies, Steven Seagal also plays the guitar and sings. And of course he's in a band.

Steven Seagal doesn't care what time it is, he decides what time it is.

Everytime boogieman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris, however every time Chuck Norris goes to bed he checks his under his bed, inside his closet, outside his window, in the living room, kitchen and in his garage for Steven Seagall.



Steven Seagal: The secret is not to act, but to be.

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