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Busybody who always needs to ask where one's lunch has come from, even if it's obvious. Every ingredient must be accounted for.
Zeke: How come you didn't have lunch with us today, Clyde?
Clyde: I got caught by the phantom gourmet. Of course she had to ask me if I'd gotten my burger at Wendy's. I said, "What gave it away? The bag that says 'Wendy's' on it?"
A large mucus-like slob that snorts a lot and doesn't do much but eat and get fatter. Infects those around it with all sorts of diseases.
Zeke: Do you have a cold?
Daisy Mae: I caught it from the Snalien down the hall.
Sub-species of wigger, a white kid from a middle-class suburban family who acts like he hails from the Hood. A Funky Phantom is usually too busy recovering from rollin' with his homies (hence the "funky") to bother coming into work, thus causing problems even though he's usually invisible (hence the "phantom"). Is out of work two days a week and takes half-days the other three. Is all "Yo, keepin' it real" and thinks he's the ultimate babe magnet; whenever he talks to a woman his voice drops to a deep whisper and he practically climbs on them in his efforts to seduce them. Claims he likes people who are brutally honest but basically lives one gigantic lie, fo' shizzle.
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A FUNKY PHANTOM
Funky: Yo, Allison, how's 'bout you and I go 'cross the street to the store and you can shizzle my dizzle bizzle?
Allison: Um, sure, sounds like fun, whatever it means!
Funky: Ya ya, I'm gonna be "keepin' it real" with my ho here for a while, G. You holds down the fort while I do my thang.
Me: Cut the crap, "homey." You ain't a playa, and the only crime you ever committed was stealing an extra Oreo outta the cookie jar when you were ten. AND you've already taken ten "breaks" today.
Funky: Yo, G! Why you gotta be hatin', Dawg? {dropping the act} Uh, my stomach hurts...I gotta go home...see ya tomorrow...
A big fat cunt who can't keep her big snout out of other peoples' business. A distant, more enormous cousin of an Aardvark. (Rhymes with the Sesame Street character Snuffleupagus.)
We never feared running out of supplies, since every Monday morning, before doing any work, the Cuntelupagus sent a delightfully "cheery" e-mail to us letting us know what we had to buy.
A maneuver usually performed by, but not limited to, a Skape, when traveling down a hallway with other people. Similar in posture to the famous Heisman Trophy, with the exception that instead of clutching a football to the stomach area, the individual performing the Hallway Heisman will grasp the small of their back, in a hunched over position. The Hallway Heisman is mainly used to ward of approaching people, so as not to be bumped into due to a "back injury".
As soon as the Skape saw the Human Resources person coming, she suddenly stopped running and got into a Hallway Heisman position.
A maneuver usually performed by, but not limited to, a Skape, when traveling down a hallway with other people. Similar in posture to the famous Heisman Trophy, with the exception that instead of clutching a football to the stomach area, the individual performing the Hallway Heisman will grasp the small of their back, in a hunched over position. The Hallway Heisman is mainly used to ward off approaching people, so as not to be bumped into due to a "back injury".
As soon as the Skape saw the Human Resources person coming, she suddenly stopped running and assumed a Hallway Heisman position.
1) Someone whose ribcage you'd like to tear open with the claw end of a hammer so you can defecate in his chest cavity.
2) Somebody who should have his head nailed to the floor while being sodomized with a cheesecloth-sack full of a thousand angry bees.
Zeke: My request for a new chair was rejected because of that sick twisted disturbed fuck. I tell ya, someone ought to force him at gunpoint to face-fuck a wild boar.