Diet Pirate

When you try to shed some timber and a colleague or family member asks if you fancy some cake or any other heart attack inducing snacks.

(man 1.) My healthy eating plan was going so well before some stupid cow in the office waddled in, armed with some of the finest cakes ive ever seen... i snaffled the lot...

(Man 2.) damn bitch, what a f*cking diet pirate!!