Alden

the most perfect person in the entire world. they’re super funny, kinda dorky and unusually tall for their age. their smile can make your heart melt, their perfection. they might not be the best at communicating but you’ll get there eventually. they’ll always make you happy no matter what happens in your life. not to mention their attractiveness is insane, brown hair and bluish, greenish eyes, cute nose heart shaped lips (they’re always soft and plump) that you’ll always feel an urge to kiss and a smile that will make your heart throb. you’re insane if you don’t find an alden attractive. dating an alden is the best thing that could ever happen to you. their touch will always make you break out in goosebumps and their voice will still always give you butterflies, every kiss is magical.

guy 1: hey did you see alden today? he looks gorgeous

guy 2: yes ofc, he always looks gorgeous.

Argument

competition to see who has more salt

Person 1: hey, why is Karl being so fucking salty?
Person 2: i don't know, but with those sodium chloride levels, he could win a lot of arguments

10👍 3👎

awful shower of cunts

Irish colloquial expression for a group of people that you find incredibly annoying to be around. Generally people you know and dread meeting. But the term has broad applications in life.

The awful prefix can be changed for terrible, woeful, despicable, or my personal favourite, insufferable.

Brian: "I'm not looking forward to this this job. The lads down there are an awful shower of cunts!"

Niall: "Aw they're an absolute fucking insufferable shower of cunts!"

Brain: "D'ye want a smoke?"

Niall: "Yeah go on..."

43👍 7👎