Murphy

The plumpest, most lazy, and most wrinkly Bulldog. If he lays down, he's out like a light ZzZzZz. He has the loudest snore known to man and can cause a mini earthquake in your bedroom. Don't take Murphy to a cabin by a mountain cause his snoring will be sure to create a full on avalanche. After one drink of water be ready to put up the "wet floor sign" because where ever he goes after a sip of water will surly be soaked. Among Murphy's favorite things include: sleeping, eating, snorting, and drooling. Murphy is the poster child for Murphy's Law because when he's left alone something will go wrong.

Coworker: Wanna get something to eat after work?

Me: No, sorry I can't. Murphy has been alone for too long.

Coworker: What could possibly go wrong?

Me: Everything... You just jinxed it. I have to get home before I'm evicted for noise complaints.

Coworker: Oh shit sorry.. Noise complaints?

Me: Murph snores like a fucking Wooly Walrus Mammoth. I. HAVE. TO. GO.