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Entertainment for people with no lives.
The only two good things about American Idol are Simon Cowell (hot) and Constantine Maroulis (hotter).
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Five Canadian guys who can't seem to sing about anything except their daddies ignoring them.
Did you hear the new Simple Plan song? It's about their daddies ignoring them! Who would've guessed?!
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One of those words you can use in any situation. In any conversation AT ALL, you can just pop in and say "damn," and people will know exactly what you're talking about.
1. An expression of dismay.
2. An expression of awe.
3. "Giving a damn", the act of caring about something.
4. The act of condemning someone, most often to hell or an equivalent place.
5. "Damn you", a verbal middle finger equivalent to "go to hell".
6. An expression of surprise.
7. "Damn well", a sort of sentence enhancer, most often used with the word "better".
8. An adjective you can stick before phrases like "near" and "close to" to raise the sentence's severity.
9. An exclamation interchangeable with "Wow".
10. An adjective you can stick in front of absolutely any noun to add a feeling of stigma to your sentence.
1. You lost your keys? Damn.
2. DAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNNN she's hot!
3. I don't give a damn what you think!
4. You will be damned for doing that.
5. You're so rude! Damn you!
6. Person 1: *sneaking up behind Person 2* BOO!
Person 2: DAMN!!
7. You better damn well lock that door!
8. I was damn close to hitting that car!
9. Damn, that certainly is a colorful shirt.
10. That damn teacher gave us another pop quiz.
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A former SNL writer, now a liberal author famous for his heartfelt honesty, sparkling wit, disturbingly handsome face (in my opinion), and charming--if sometimes a bit overbearing--conduct during battles with Bill O'Reilly and the rest of the uber-conservative crew.
"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: Precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from."
"If you listen to a lot of conservatives, they'll tell you that the difference between
them and us is that conservatives love America and liberals hate America.... They don't
get it. We love America just as much as they do. But in a different Way. You see, they
love America the way a 4-year-old loves her Mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups.
To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is
bad. Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad,
and helping your loved one grow. Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world."
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Completely and utterly without merit. A news station that not only presents the most wildly conservative of biases with the slogan "Fair and Balanced," but also presents worse television than Jerry Springer. I am NOT watching the news to see Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly scream "SHUT UP!" at every single guest they have.
The usual transcript of The O'Reilly Factor:
O'Reilly: Today, America, we're here with Al Franken and Alan Colmes. I don't have backup because I'm a pompous idiot who thinks I own the world.
Franken: You got the first part right.
Colmes: *giggle*
O'Reilly: Shut up, both of you. Now, onto our discussion. Today we are presenting the fact that all Muslims are evil.
Colmes: No, Bill, you can't--
O'Reilly: Shut up! It's--
Franken: Bill, that's wrong because--
O'Reilly: Shut up, shut up!
Franken: You're being completely unreasonable, and if you'll listen, I'll tell you why! It's not po--
O'Reilly: SHUT UP!
Colmes: God, this sucks. *walks off set*
O'Reilly: One less opponent for me.
Franken: Now do I get a chance to prove my point?
O'Reilly: No, we're going to a commercial.
Franken: No, we can't go to a commercial because you presented a completely innacurate stereotype and are attacking one of the most--
O'Reilly: SHUT UP NOW, YOU IDIOT! You're wrong, I'm right, what more is there to say?!
Franken: NO! We CANNOT go to a COMMERCIAL because--
*commercial*
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Disturbingly hot lead singer for the Sex Pistols and Public Image Ltd. Wrote songs for the Sex Pistols (highlight: "Bodies", describing an abortion) and PiL. Also penned "No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs", an autobiographical work with two writers whose names I can't seem to remember.
Johnny Rotten is sexier than you.
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A term the Pittsburgh mainstream news companies use to scare people into buying lots of toilet paper and water. We wake up next morning to half an inch of snow.
Weatherman: It is the storm of the century. You must now go out and buy an obscene amount of personal hygeine products, because you never know when you will need them.
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