Cider Fever

A medical condition originating from the Cotswolds, England. The sufferer’s face and hands go blotchy, speech slurs and balance deteriorates after drinking excessive amounts of scrumpy.

Unlike Fuzzy Cuffs which has no known cure, Cider Fever is typically treated with a very large Indian meal and plenty of rest.

Chris: “Did you see Paul in the pub last night?”

Sam: “Yes, he went very pink, started ranting and fell over. Poor guy got a bad case of Cider Fever.”

Fuzzy cuffs

An acute medical condition of stomach cramps and extreme flatulence, resulting from the excessive consumption of cheese and scrumpy cider.

Not to be confused with Cider Fever which attacks the whole body, Fuzzy Cuffs was first identified in the south west of England in 2021. According to the British Medical Journal, no cure currently exists.

Chris: “pass me that cheese naan please.”

Sam: “not sure it’s a good idea after all that scrumpy you’ve guzzled today. You might end up with Fuzzy Cuffs”