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A sad condition that occurs after pissing off your wife or girlfriend really bad! Case studies show men are most likely to commit animal abuse soon after the "you're cut off" time begins. Effects seems to be acutely focused. Men routinely catagorize themselves in several specific groups. These men are engaging in acts of Spanking The Monkey, Choking The Chicken, Whacking The Weasel, Flogging the Dolphin, and new recent reports demonstrate cross species abuse. Some have now begun to Beat One Eyed Willy, until he finally gets mad and spits on them.
(caller to friend) Dude! I forgot our anniversary ... ... ... again! Third time! What am I going to do?
(friend) ... ... ... ... um, ... ... ... um, ... ...
(caller to friend) Do you have a chicken, or any Sea Monkeys?
(friend) -long pause- Um, Willy want's to know if your OK?
(caller to friend) ... No ... I've become an animal abuser!
(friend) -muffled voice- Willy ... He wants to talk to you.
75π 30π
Something written in the shitter of a bar, to which you find the reply. "Don't write on my bathroom walls and I won't shit in your church"
jesus saves!, wrong, politically uncorrect,jesus, save, saves, wha'd he say?
34π 16π
Something you can write on the bathroom wall at your local bar in the crapper for a qwik laugh.
"EAT THE CORN"
Eat the corn. Drunk people laugh at this.
66π 20π
A person, usually on a CB Radio, who waits for the right time to insert a comment in someone elses conversation, thus changing the entire meaning of the sentence intent. This is done by a more powerful voice, signal, or a closer proximity to the hearer. Thus effectively filling the mouth and leaving embarassing virtual nut marks on the talker.
What was actually said "We went to play golf and on hole number seven I nailed the ball, I could hardly believe it! I really had to rub it in!"
What everyone else heard due to a slick Tea Bagger "We went to play golf and on hole number seven I 'shit my pants', I could hardly believe it! I really had to rub it in!"
37π 112π
1) When another driver pulls in a spot closest to the door and you have been looking to find close parking for the last 5 minutes. You saw a keyless remote unlocking a car, the lights blinking and calling you! "OPEN OPEN OPEN"
You punched it around the opposing lane, so you could pull in at the proper angle, half crazed to get to it! And then some FUCK who JUST pulled into the lot, driving the wrong way, gets it by backing into YOUR spot just as you round the farthest edge of the corner!
2) When you follow someone for 5 minutes at a >1 MPH snails pace, Looking to get his parking space, you are happily lured along, like some 16 year old on his first bong hit, with the shiny keys to their car that are dangling from their hand and swinging around at you like a fuckin' hypnotist or some kind of Christmas present or something, in an ONE WAY underground covered parking lot - all the while the voice in your head is thinking "YEAH BABY! GOT A SPOT! I GOT A CLOSE SPOT!" - and the bastard suddenly looks confused and turns around and goes the other way while the car behind you has been flashing his lights at you for the last two minutes!
1) OH NO! OH NO! NO YOU DID NOT! OH NO YOU DIDN'T! I did not just see some Asshole parking in MY SPOT!
2) CLICK! AIM! BANG!
58π 3π
1) - Another Urban Dictionary phrase that that covers a lot of meanings defined by its usage.
2) - An observation of realization toward an observed event by an observer, observing an event.
3) - When something you watch someone do that makes you just grimace in sheer shock and/or dismay and makes you think that person did something stupid or is stupid.
1) - You unknowingly hit on your bosses' wife at the company party .... THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK.
2) - You are live on a special Jerry Springer and you think you are there because you're told that your girl wants a threesome, and you are all excited about it! ... only to find out that she is with HER girlfriend and is dumping YOU on national TV cuz you have a 2 inch pecker!
... That's Gonna Leave A Mark!
You are with your mom, playing dominoes, helping to entertain her friends - cuz you told her as part of your New Years resolution you'd spend more time with her. They all say how sweet it is! And ... she starts the game off by telling everyone the story how you pissed your bed til you were 16 1/2 and sometimes you shit yourself when you get suddenly scared ... ... still to this day! THAT's gonna leave a mark! (NO PUN INTENDED)
You show up at your court date ... stoned off your ass ... THAT'S gonna leave a mark!
You FINALLY! get that date - you know - with the ever so pop girl ...Shelby OnErBak- in your sophomore year - you are about to get a home run and you not only can't get it up ... but it shrinks! THAT'S gonna leave a mark!
You make A FRICKIN' LOT of money at your work and your boss really enjoys suddenly scaring the shit out of you in meetings now and then to get back at you for hitting on his wife at the company party. THAT'S gonna leave a mark! (Pun Intended)
When you find out that the girlfriend of your girl that dumped you on Jerry Spinger on National TV, is your bosses wife from the company party! DOH!
- Or ... You get a bad wound/injury like from a knife or a bitch slap (both fig. and lit.) LMAO!
When Joe got hit by traffic when he was crossing the street in the movie "Meet Joe Black" and you yell, "SHIT! That's gonna to leave a mark!"
What you nonchalauntly say when you see a skateboarders broken cheek bone suddenly shoot thru his flesh after a bad crash ... "Well ... that's gonna leave a mark"
MOST OF ALL ... is when you think you are being as funny as hell, and your word gets denied by the editors of Urban Dictionary.
56π 26π
1} A divorce terminology mostly used by an ex, or soon to be ex-wife. Refers to a little tiny small pile of "your shit." Usually clothes and/or pictures spread sporadically upon the front lawn or in a box of "your shit." In some cases it is found to be accompanied along some things you didn't think that you owned. FIRST would be Anal Lube with a little pretty bow on it. SECOND would be a small metal object, also with a cute little pretty bow on it, called a nail clipper. So that you won't scratch your ankles when you grab them to take it up the ass by her lawyer. And THIRD would be a key to a post office box set up in your name only, that when you check it, find it full of bills ... the kind that need to be paid ... not the ones with dead presidents on them.
2} What is left on the end of her lawyers schlong from you.
3} Something said when you find your key doesn't fit in the door anymore.
4} Also denoted in the song from Beyonce.
1} Dear John ... here is your shit ... and, some gifts.
Love,
Jane Doe
2} You don't call me anymore :(
3} "YOU THINK THAT YOUR SHIT DOESN'T STINK?!"
4} To the left To the left To the left
To the left To the left To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff - Yes
98π 17π