Malcolmitis

N. An unofficial disease contracted by everyone at some point. Symptoms may include drowsiness, aches and pains, and accelerated aging.

See also Malcolmish

Associate: I can't come into work today.
Manager: Why not?
Associate: Oh, I've contracted Malcolmitis.
Manager: Oh my god...Well you just stay home, I can't have you working while you're malcolmish.

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Malcolmish

Adj. Being very sick, unhealthy, or in bad condition.
See also N. Malcolmitis.

Associate: I can't come into work today.
Manager: Why not?
Associate: Oh, I'm feeling really malcolmish.
Manager: Oh my god...Well you just stay home, I can't have you working while you're malcolmish.

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