CPO

Cost per Orgasm: The amount of money invested in a relationship divided by the number of orgasms achieved during that relationship. Typically, the CPO is very high during the formation (dating) stages of the relationship. Once the relationship has formed the CPO sharply declines then gradually increases over time (usually during marriage) until the CPO exceeds the original formation stage.

“The first three months are great; we’re going at it like rabbits. My CPO is at an all time low.”

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Optirectomy

A surgical procedure that detaches the optic nerves from the rectum so you won't have a shitty outlook on life.

"Tom is in serious need of an optirectomy."

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D/E Ratio

Drama to Earnings Ratio. The amount of personal or professional drama created by a customer, client or business partner divided by the earnings or prospective earnings generated from the relationship. Excessive and unnecessary drama in business relationships create an emotional tax on earnings that transcends the financial statements and negatively impacts all stakeholders in the organization, thus causing a high D/E Ratio.

We have an unbelievably high maintenance client client who calls the office five times a week and disrupts the entire office with special requests, personal problems, false accusations, and emotional outbursts. The fee we charge this client doesn't even come close to covering all the special handling and office distractions. We need to lower the D/E Ratio or dump the client.

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