Christian death metal

Forget gospel and Christian rock — death and black metal would have to be the most appropriate possible genres for a certain brand of Christianity.

Consider the story: a vengeful, jealous deity, bearing strong resemblance to many a bearded Viking god, has a half-human son (without the woman's permission) for the specific purpose of ultimately sacrificing him by means that are both excruciating and bloody.

Whereas the average human sacrifices result in something like better weather for the crops or victory in war, the ironic result of this one is that nearly all of us puny humans, too ignorant or naive to accept this Lovecraftian reality, are condemned to suffer torments inflicted by a band of fallen angels led by none other than Lucifer himself.

How fucking metal can you get? Does Buddhism even approach this?

Christian death metal lyrics in an uninformed imagination:
JESUS BLOOD BLOOD JESUS
BLOOD COMIN OUT HIS EYEBALLS
JESUS SUFFER SUFFER DIE

84👍 63👎

couldn't care less

A phrase meaning "The degree to which I care about this could not possibly go lower." Most people naturally interpret it to mean "I care about this as little as any human could; my degree of care is 0".

But it can also be interpreted to mean "I care about this to a certain extent (which may be a little or a whole lot) and there is no way in hell my caring is ever going to drop."

Arguments about this can get pretty heated, with Team Couldn't Care Less tending to care more.

"Guess what happened on Dancing with the Stars last night?"
"Please don't bother me with that, I really couldn't care less about it."

"Mr. Politician, do you care about America?"
"I'm glad you asked that. I care about America more than anything in the world, and I couldn't care less, not in a million years. You'll have to pry my care from my cold dead hands."

69👍 22👎

deja vous

Roughly French for "again you", deja vous is the experience of thinking that one has been oneself before, perhaps in a past life, or in this same one, but several days ago. Extremely self-aware people are often unable to avoid experiencing deja vous throughout every minute of their waking lives.

(Not to be confused with "deja vu", a common and easier-to-spell phrase in both English and French.)

When I got up this morning and washed my face, the reflection peering back at me in the mirror gave me a distrubing impression of deja vous. I cannot help but ask, will I still be me again tomorrow? And in the days and weeks after that?

98👍 37👎