Alonzo

Alonzo

Walks with confidence, and quiet sex appeal, that will knock you on your ass when you least expect it. Smells like a forest at night, and sheets after a night of being boinked properly as hell.

Trustworthy, and intuitive, you can trust him with the most venerable parts of your personality. Offers shots of tequila, pjs and warm socks on drunken nights, and will lick your kitty like a fkn pro. Gives multiple o’s with complete generosity, followed by a toothbrush and a cup of coffee in the morning.

Girl 1: Alonzo is a sexy motha f’er!!

Girl 2: if you need a new toothbrush and your kitty taken care of, Alonzo’s got your back.

Girl 2; Alonzo makes me wanna play with my pussy all night long.

Cooper

The absolute best nephew to be had, Cooper lights up every space he walks in to. Count on him to always have the best jokes, and even better hugs. He can sometimes be mistaken for Leo DiCaprio. Usually seen with a gorgeous girl on his arm, a dark haired sparkly-eyed angel, and sometimes a yellow lab in tow, who may or may not behave. If you see him with his aunt, just know, she’s a little on the kooky side, but he loves her. Cooper is a very very loved guy, and you’re extremely lucky if he loves you back.

Man, that Cooper is a good time!