DJ Khaled

A fat bozo that sits down, sipping champagne he bought with the money made by other people's songs he featured in while taking all the credit.

Or...

Someone who says they will be there when you need them but cannot be found when you are in a sticky situation.

Guy 1: Yo man, can you please help me study for the really hard test tomorrow.
Guy 2: Sure man, but I don't have time today but I can help you tomorrow morning before school. I'll be there for you.
Guy 1: Thanks man.
NEXT DAY, GUY 2 DOESN'T SHOW UP. GUY 1 GETS AN F- ON HIS TEST.
AT LUNCHTIME, GUY 2 SHOWS UP.
Guy 1: Now here you are! Man, you DJ Khaled me so hard, thanks to you I got an F-!

Guy 2:

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Donald Trump

A round Dorito that hates Chinese people due to the fact that he doesn't have a Great Wall and has ran for president.

-How the hell did a Dorito run for president?
-It's not a Dorito, he's Donald Trump.
-Oh.

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