Weed

A funny plant that makes you stare at a wall for 10 minutes until you realize that’s not the tv.

Weed exists

332👍 23👎

Disney

A hellspawn company created by Satan himself to create assembly line whimsy and to buy and ruin all of our favorite movie franchises.

“Have you heard about Disney buying Star Wars?”
“Yeah, hopefully they’ll produce better movies with a bigger budget.”

Years later
“Why did we think this would be good?”
“I don’t fucking know!”

5👍 1👎

Everybody gangsta till the nuns start meowing

The one truth in this world

“Everybody gangsta till the nuns start meowing”
-Sam Onella Academy

A Pickle for the Knowing Ones

A batshit insane book written by Timothy Dexter that is filled with political rants, complaints about his wife, and the most fucking beautiful spelling ever. There were complaints about the lack of punctuation so in the second edition, Timothy Dexter put and extra page in the back filled with punctuation and a note saying stick them wherever you want.

“I just read A Pickle for the Knowing Ones”

Schnitzel

A wimp

“ARE YOU A MAN OR A SCHNITZEL!?”
-Mr. Doofenshmirtz

Holdo Maneuver

When you fuck over all of your enemies along with yourself. A kamikaze attack against the whole army instead of just a part of it.

“I think we’re gonna need to pull a Holdo Maneuver to win this.”