Rock and Tumble

Sexual position used when you find a frozen caveman, defrost him and have sex with him.

The Rock and Tumble is on a reel in the cutting room floor of a geico commercial.

5👍 4👎

Imaginary Girlfriend

A nonexistent girlfriend (not that internet service schtick). I have one of these. The pros far outway the cons. No dates to remember, no birthdays, so you can basically be a slob and get away with it. If you give her some interesting problems, she'll really be 3 dimensional. Mine's a kleptomaniac and a narcissist.

Mom: Where are all your pens?
Me: Bonnie must have stolen them.
Mom: Who the hell's Bonnie?
Me: Exactly.

169👍 27👎

vietnam

A country smart enough to use the press and psychological victories to beat the American military.

America loss the war in Vietnam because they didn't realize they were fighting a relatively unmodernized country

268👍 149👎

Perfect Day

A day clouded by the wonderful effects of heroin. Also a Lou Reed song.

I'm having a perfect day today, at least til the smack wears off.

38👍 19👎

reservoir dog

a guy who works with a bunch of other guys to rob diamonds. the term came from when Tarantino called 'Au revoir les enfants' "that Reservoir movie" and combined it with the movie 'Straw Dogs' to make "Reservoir Dogs."

A bunch of Reservoir Dogs and I are gonna hit up a jewelery store tomorrow.

20👍 149👎

shpadoinkle

Noun - Happiness; ability to look on the bright side of life
Can also be used as an Interjection

"He was beginning to lose his shpadoinkle"
Shpadoinkle!

25👍 88👎

double handed booty slammer

a sexual position so mysterious, that after using it, you wake off the jersey turnpike with a sundress on. it is a very dangerous thing to attempt.

I remember the last time I gave my girlfriend the ole double handed booty slammer. It took me a month to hitchhike home.

18👍 22👎