Pumes

The smelly gas from animal or human faecal material. Short for "poo fumes".

I couldn't escape the pumes when I was in the public toilets.

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split ham

Casual sex.

On Tinder profile: Swipe left if you want to split ham.

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clink

Unhelpful (through incompetence, malice, or systemic restriction) bureaucratic personnel.

The clink didn't even make eye contact as she diagnosed me!