New Specs

A cracking Birmingham UK based ska band. Named to be the 'New Specials' but they soon realised that they could never match up to the expectation of that name so it was shortened to New Specs.

Originally comprising of Duncan 'Disorderly' Gaunt on lead guitar, Andy 'Boris Arse Mop' Taylor on rhythym guitar, Jimmy 'Spazmo' Norwood on bass and Dean 'One, More, Lots, Many' Beresford on drums.

A later configuration brought in Olly 'Loops' Bradley on bass and his brother Syme 'Fat Guy' Bradley on lead guitar. This moved Andy Taylor to vocal duties.

Top gigs included Four Oaks Tennis Club, where they kicked ass and Little Aston Youth Club whewre they kicked even more ass.

These days, they are all married and sad. Apart from Dean Beresford who still forges a career in hitting things for a living.

Syme went on to become features editor for Guitarist magazine.

Duncan, married with two kids, now builds bus shelters and McDonalds Restaurants.

Andy claims to work in the IT industry but we all know that he's only thinking about the next addition to his rather large guitar collection.

Olly is now a bass playing mercenary who will play any tune for lager or an automatic weapon.

The Specs rocked, shining light and influence upon all that bathed in there sadly short glare.

Andy: 'Any do's on?'
Dunc: *pause* 'Nah."
Andy: 'Wish I had a Tardis.'

Intro to 'Wish I had a Tardis' New Specs tune 1979.

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Poshed

The space left in your wallet after a particularly drunken and expensive night out. Normally after being invited on an aquaintances birthday/stag night to go somwhere you would not normally go due to the expense. Anywhere on Broad Street for example.
The best way not to get poshed is to get the first round in. Then later in the night, when your compadres are drunk you can seagull a few drinks from them.
How to realise that you are getting poshed: when it dawns on you that the content of your wallet will either stretch to a curry and a taxi home, or one more drink - and you get the drink.
A popular place to get poshed is a distant cousin's wedding where the free bar has been withdrawn. Thus you end up drinking your taxi fare back to the B & B and having to scrounge a lift from some pissed-up arse in a Range Rover.

'Coming for a curry?'
'Nah, I'm totally poshed mate. Lend me a tenner?'
'*&$£"! off!'

'Good night out?'
'Yeah, we went up town now I'm completely poshed. Lend me a tenner?'

'How was the wedding?'
'Crap, the freebies were denied so we got well poshed!'

Ken

A slightly known colleague or friend of a friend whose name you can't be bothered to remember. Or can be used to attract a strangers attention.
Can also be employed to annoy people that you know really well.
Serves especially well when you start a new job - just call everyone Ken; the boss, the women, the copier etc.

'Who was that guy?'
'Just some Ken from work.'

'Wanna smoke?'
'Yeah, cheers Ken.'

'Oi Ken, put your bloody seatbelt on!'

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Woofer Moose

Aplies to a VERY ugly women who is out on the cop (out drinking to gain love and respect). Normally found amongst kind in seedy bars on a Friday night where the beer goggles have already been put on by the male clientele.

Also Moose is a Canadian speaker company who manufacture woofers.

'What the hell does shelook like????'
'Jeeze, what a woofer moose!'

'Your speakers are yay cool!,
'Yup, they're woofers from Moose.'

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Scrat

To do menial, pointless, but intensive work that you consider to be below you.

To look like scruffy urchin when you consider yourself to look quite the hunk.

'Have a good day at work?'
'Nah, I had to scrat around with the photocopier all day.'

'Sorry mate, you look a bit of a scrat.'
'I'm scrat-tascic!'

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