Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can devide by 0.

The boogey man checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night lite. Not because he is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Only problem is, he's never cried.

Whenever Chuck Norris smiles, a dying person is saved. Unfortunatly, Chuck Norris only smiles when he's killed someone.

The Chuck Norris action figure has slept with more women then most men.

When Chuck Norris was 13, he slept with every nun at the local monestary. Nine months later, the 1977 Miami Dolphins were born - the only undefeated team in NFL history.

Chuck Norris once slept with another man. Not because he was gay, but because he ran out of women to sleep with.

Chuck Norris and God are playing chess. Who wins? Ha, trick question. Chuck Norris is God!

Chuck Norris once built a time machine to go back into time and save JFK from dying. Chuck Norris dove in and stopped all three of Oswald's shots with his beard. JFK was so amazed his head exploded.

Chuck Norris was once told by a man that the roundhouse kick was not as effective as a roundhouse punch. Chuck Norris immediatly kill the man with a roundhouse kick.

When entering the White House, Chuck Norris merley has to say "Chuck Norris" to be waved past the Secret Service.

In grade school, Chuck once had to write an essay on who the most powerful and influential person in the world was. He wrote the words "Chuck Norris" and received an A+.

"What's your name, hansome?"
"Chuck Norris."
"Oh God, screw me!"
"I already have."

"Chuck Norris just killed Kenny with a roundhouse kick!"
"That bastard!"
"Jesus, Chuck Norris just killed Cartman with a roundhouse kick!"

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