Ace

After taking a satisfyingly optimal poo, if a wipe is unnecessary or there is no lingering residue on the toilet paper, then you have successfully "Aced". If one wipe was necessary, then you received a "Birdie". Two wipes - Par. And So on and so forth. However, if you have successfully aced, you must make an A-frame above your head, like in that ridiculous song YMCA by The Village People, and shout "Ace" to the first person you see after your poo.

Friend: How was your poo?

Pooer: Dude I totally just Aced!

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