Catch and Release

A port-o-john user's key to survival.

The user carefully hangs several strips of toilet paper from the toilet seat into the port-o-john, creating a dangling basket, also known as the "crap trap". The user then rests his derrière on the seat and begins to void his bowels in comfort, knowing the threat of a geyser shooting straight up his mud canal has been mitigated by the hanging "shit swing". This completes the the first part of the process known as the CATCH.

After the poo purge is complete, the user then simply leans forward, allowing the basket to fall to its inevitable doom in the blue waters below, and thus completing the last part of the process known as the RELEASE.

Note: This method was created and perfected in rather austere conditions and has proven to be an invaluable tool in one's survival of plastic public toilets.

They had just emptied the port-o-let. I was in a rush but I should have used the catch and release method... When my crap hit the pool below, a minty fresh blue stream shot right up my butthole, leaving me shaking in the fetal position on the plastic floor. It was as though i had just experienced my first bout with prison sex.

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