Inverse Midas

The effect of turning everything into shit. The opposite of the Midas touch, where King Midas was said to turn everything he touched into gold.
The act of fail, to blunder, to make a snafu, or catastrophe

1. Bill: That guy has the Inverse Midas touch. He can't do anything right
George: Nah, it's just a snafu. Could happen to anyone.

2. George: That guy's just like me, he's got the Inverse Midas touch. Everything he touches turns to shit.
Bill: No George, you fail way worse than this guy.

3. Barry: This oil spill is a catastrophe, BP's engineers really have the Inverse Midas touch
Kim: I have on my big boy glasses
Barry: Sure you do.

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phuqeulogy

A type of poem delivered at the funeral of a douchebag, to lament his or her useless, counter-productive, pointless, or otherwise worthless life.

It is usually spoken by a person with intimate knowledge of the deceased douchebag's life and times, yet no sympathy for the d-bag's fate.

Borrowed from the greek word 'eulogy', meaning literally 'good words': this is an modern adaptation of the term, first heard on the awesome Bugle podcast on May 6th 2011.

Oliver: This episode is not so much a tribute to Osama Bin Laden, as it is a phuqeulogy ("fuck-you-lo-gee") to the big man.
Andy: (guffaws)
George: Get 'er done! (sips beer)
Barry: Mission Accomplished... (pretends to blow gun-smoke off his fingers before holstering them in the presidential pocket)
Andy: (guffaws)

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