Old Man Sam

He fucking loves history and trains (a little too much). He has a history of beating children and telling them get of his zip line. In West Virginia, he is also known as Grandpa Jones by many of the Boy Scouts who have been beaten. He also has a habit of calling ppl ‘Chief’ and hating everyone and everything. He’s somehow the saltiest 21 year old alive.

“Old Man Sam slapped me!”

“Guess who got written up for slapping a child at work?!... that’s right! You guessed it! Old man Sam!”