Condom Crinkle

The sound a wrapped condom makes in your pocket when you move. The "crinkle" sound can sometimes be embarrassing, since you might think people around you know you are "carrying".

Dude, I was leaving the house to go meet my girl, and I almost got busted by my mom, I had condom crinkle.

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Shit Chat

The act of texting on your phone while taking on the toilet, taking a dump.

I was shit chatting with Rob about our plans for this weekend.