Grown-up

Some people mistakenly believe this is a term for those over 18. Fraid not. Some people are born grown-ups, and some die at 100 never having acheived this status. If you are one, congratulations on not dying thus far; if not, here's some things you have to look forward to!

• You will cease to be impressed with your 1337speak, pwning people, your h4x0r rep and otherwise talking "liek u r" an illiterate moron. Intelligence, it's not just for breakfast anymore.

• For you emo kids, the world will get brighter for you when you stop crying and get another piece of ass. Life's cyclical in nature, roll with it.

• You will finally understand why your dad always screams when you begin to pay all your own bills. TIP: Pay electricity bill before buying the new GTA.

• Realizing that just because you CAN drink doesn't necessarily make it a good idea. Go out Wednesday, your place of employment might look like the jaws of Hell Thursday morning at 7:00 AM.

• Realizing that your place of employment ALWAYS looks like the jaws of Hell, shrugging and doing what you damn well feel like anyway.

and finally,

• The moment when you are truly no longer a kid, because you can't be. Because you have decided that all kids, without exception, SUCK. Because now YOU have a kid, crying, yelling, wetting the bed, wanting money. Karma's a cruel bitch.

Other than that, it's the only way to be... what else ya gonna do, be a 40 year old skateboarder?

I'm glad I'm a grown-up

or

(Closed captioning for the 1337 impaired)
i r liek ben a grown-up. it's teh w00t.

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poverty

1. The preferred state for most minorities and Democrats by the Republican party.

2. The lack of morals exhibited by the old men and oil companies who run the economy.

3. Having enough money for weed but none for lighters or rolling papers.

4. The vow taken by members of the Roman Catholic Church (you know them, right? Biggest land-owners on the planet?)

syn: bullshit

1. The Republican view towards poverty is bullshit.

2. Running away with all the fuckin' money, leaving everyone else in poverty, is bullshit!

3. Oh man... where's a pop can and two twigs to rub together? Poverty is Bullshit!

4. Those rich assholes don't pay taxes just because they wear dresses and chant? Vow of poverty, my ass... That's complete BULLSHIT!

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pea soup

It's when chef Gordon Elliott, through years of discipline and training, is able to actually urinate a meaty broth for the guests of his... oh wait... nope, that's pee soup. Sorry. Never mind.

My confusion is as thick as pea soup.

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space

1. The area outside our planetary environment. We are largely ignorant about most of it. We're so ignorant we have no idea exactly how much of it there is to be ignorant about. This explains why they call it space: There's a buttload of it.

2. This character right here ----> <------

3. To forget what you needed to do for no apparent reason.

4. Touchy-feely term for emotional distance.

1. In space, no one can hear you whimper like a little girl.

2. " " There, there's a free one for ya.

3. Dude, I totally spaced Grandma's funeral!

4. "Bob, I just feel like I need some space..."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"Let me finish... I need some space... without you in it..."

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