Brett

Brett is a semi-retarded (all right, totally idiotic) pinksock obsessed anal-jizz consumer who regularly receives massive “loads” of horse crap blended with multiple dead babies, a pint of elephant ejaculation and whatever a porcupine can vomit up after drinking too much vodka. These “loads” are, of course, injected via syringe into his left testicle. Left because his right one was “lost” at his last emo-fag-gang-bang held in his rather fabulous looking mothers van. Some participants in this event included Brett’s sister, dogs, cat, Mr. Roggers, Matt Damon and Martha Stewart. Some have claimed to have seen Darth Vader and Batman feltching a random (but still the same) Mexican slave boy, but these images were, unfortunately, not featured in the 16-day special circulating on the Internet. Brett, a hard core wigger and “baller” truly believes he is “1337” but would be easily pzoned by even the average person with dyslexia and 340598 different strands of AIDS (all gained after butt raping a dead monkey). Some of Brett’s favorite hobbies (aside from beating it to his sister getting done by strange homeless men from downtown Calgary) include eating cookies, and putting diapers onto dead children (these are usually used to pleasure Brett in multiple ways). Fortunately enough, Brett does not have any friends, and will never succeed at life, because his head was broken in, and now he usually drools uncontrollably (even at the site of a naked Pakistani man sticking stuff into a tree). Brett’s choice of music much affects his lifestyle, after all, beating your mother’s dead body with your little penis while listening to songs such as “I Cum Blood” “Blowtorch Slaughter” “Fucked with a knife” and “Raped by the beast” by the band Cannibal Corpse tends to say *something* might just be a little wrong…

“Aww cunt! Fucking-Brett’s coming…”
“H-H-Heeey guys!”
“Go away Brett, you have no friends”

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