Random
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Random
When you've been dying for a piss for ages but have had to hold it in due to being in a crowded bar/talked to/nowhere near a toilet or shop doorway, the eventual act of urination can only be described as Weejaculation. Not only because of the speed that the fluid exits ones body, but because of the sensation produced. Makes people say "ahhhhhhhhhhhh" with their eyes closed and their head tilted back in sheer ecstacy.
"I've been in this toilet queue for 20 minutes, it's just gonna be weejaculation when I get in there."
21π 2π
That time of day when whatever you're doing becomes so irritating that you simply have to cease immediately and exit the area. No matter what the clock states as the actual time, it is still Fuck This Shit O'Clock. Morning, noon and night, any second of any hour can become Fuck This Shit O'Clock. So named because when the moment is reached, people tend to either do a wild, exasperated hand flinging gesture or smash their hands down onto a surface and say "Fuck this shit!!" And then leave.
It should be noted that although the time of Fuck This Shit O'Clock is randomly assigned, some people hate their jobs so intensely that 5pm Monday to Friday becomes Fuck This Shit O'Clock.
"Dave, can you just run me off twenty copies of this on your way past the photocopier?"
"Sorry Sir, no can do. It's Fuck This Shit O'Clock and I'm outta here."
144π 2π
Those odd pinpricks of sparkling light that fill your vision before you pass out, and linger in your sights for at least 10 minutes after you've come round.
"Mate, I can't drink any more! I'm getting carkles!"
"I don't know if we can move him yet. Ask him if he still has carkles"
15π 2π
A state of order and cleanliness that is barely passable. If your teeth have been brushed for approximately 15 seconds, the front part of your hair has been messily styled, and your shirt has been dragged out of the washing basket and febrezed, consider yourself "man tidy." If your living room has floor debris and unidentifiable matter pushed under the sofa, empty lager cans lined up on the coffee table and a light layer of dust covering every surface, consider it "man tidy." If you're a woman and you keep your affairs in such disorder, then grow some ovaries and pick up a duster.
There are males that walk among us that have shrugged off "man tidy" and all its associated mingingness, yet we shall refer to these individuals as Gods, because they are so very rare and breathtaking.
"Hold on, let me just run in and do a quick spot check. Greg was off work today, so I left him in charge of the housework. It'll probably be man tidy in here"
12π 3π
Any sexual act in which ejaculation is achieved within seconds.
"I've been wanting to fuck him for months. I wouldn't have wasted my time if I'd known it was gonna be a bloody quick- fire round"
"Last night, I was so horny from browsing online porn, I had to wake the missus up for a quick-fire round"
"I only had a few minutes to knock one off the wrist before my mum came home. Bit of a quick-fire round"
27π 3π
1) A person who is selfish and behaves like an idiot
2) A person who is greedy with their masturbatory habits. A selfish wanker will steal a communal porn collection, steal the only box of tissues remaining in the house, even steal a picture of your own dear mother to wank over. They care nothing for the feelings or masturbation plans of others. They will even turn up late to meetings and dates because of their five knuckle shuffling, but will never ever call and explain the delay. Wanking will always come first to these people. A truly selfish wanker will even prefer the touch of their own hairy palm to the touch of another human being.
Steven is a selfish wanker. He sent his girlfriend out to the strip club with his mates so that he could stay in and abuse himself alone.
10π 3π
1) The total shit someone talks when they're drunk
2) The sudden surge of bravery one experiences when totally lashed
Well, look who's gone and got himself a pair of beer bollocks! Seb, they'll kill us both. Let's go and get a kebab
13π 2π