Pussy Taxi

Girl with wheels, usually older than you, who picks you up and drops you off in exchange for sex. Possibly, but not necessarily, your boo.

Example 1:

Employee: "Hey boss, I would love to stay and talk about this project a little longer, but my pussy taxi is here".

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Example 2:

Guy1: "Stuck at dinner with the 'rents - so can't pick you up at the airport like I said I would."
Guy2: "No worries. I'm dial my pussy taxi."

spunkhound

A person who can smell man-glue before it spills. Like a bloodhound, but for Tugwater.

M: How did you know to duck before I came in your hair?
F: I am a Spunkhound.

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fart graveyard

A chair or couch so big and fluffy that people feel compelled to bury entire populations of farts in it, on the premise that the farts will stay put if left undisturbed. This assumption is generally true until the farter gets up or until someone else sits down.

Dude #1, sitting down:

Oh! G-d! I'm trying to relax, but right now it smells like I'm giving a homeless guy a rim job!

Dude #2:

That's our couch, man. And don't move too fast getting up, it's a fart graveyard.