Samoan

A sub-class of morbidly obese, Asian-Pacific-Islanders. Identified by huge foreheads and 'groucho' eyebrows, disturbingly long, thick, matted, black hair (men AND women), thighs where there should be biceps and all clothed in humongous short pants. The males of the species are bred for drywalling, erecting cinder block walls and as defensive linemen, but are often hired as doormen at nightclubs frequented by affluent and/or famous Negroes. The females are used primarily for breeding purposes but occasionally can be seen repossessing automobiles or running after suspect's cars in televised police chases.

When in the presence of a Samoan, proceed with caution. Do NOT make eye contact and back away from their habitat as quickly as possible. They are wild, extremely aggressive and unpredictable and should be treated as such. Give them their space and most times they will not bother you.

Did you know....

.....that Samoans are descendants of headhunters? Yes, and they ate babies, too.

.....the NFL was the first organization to import live Samoans starting in the 1980's? Sadly, their families were allowed to follow and immediately began setting up villages.

.....a typical four-year-old Samoan male eats 60 lbs. of rice, 55 lbs. of fish, and 16 gallons of breast milk a day?

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