89th Base

When you penetrate a lemon with your dick and your fingers at the same time while singing sex bomb by tom jones with a kilogram of sherbet balanced on your forehead.

OR

When an irishman sucks off a polishman on a cycle to brighton

Man 1: Yeah i got to 89th base yesterday, got hit by a car afterwards as well...
Man 2: Wow really? Thats cool

53👍 12👎

Smithy Sanchez

You may have heard of a dirty sanchez but this is much more filthy. It's when you find out a player isn't playing in a forthcoming fantasy gameweek and you transfer them out for someone who is. Despicable behaviour

Smithy: "Phew, just transferred out an overpriced underperforming midfielder because he's not in the starting XI tonight"

Everyone: "Wait, what, have you just pulled a Smithy Sanchez?"

Smithy: *feels guilt for the rest of time*

Cecil: "Push the lion button"

Luke Gold

A Luke Gold is a person who can sometimes be very funny but often only really when people are laughing at him, not with him. Often smelling of sweat and eating burger king, a Luke Gold's common habitat is around North London in the various discount clothing stores and shopping centres. Another common trait of Luke Golds are premature facial aging, with wrinkles and baldness occuring at as young an age as 4 years old. All Luke Golds are descended from the same man, born in 652 AD, called Marshallion Davies

Dude No1: Yeah met this guy the other day, he was such a Luke Gold...
Dude No2: No waaaay...
Dude No1: Yeah, i know, he had this little stubble which he thought made him look like he was in his 30s...i could have sworn he was without his hair and all...but turns out he was only 17

28👍 5👎