Mucho Badasstico

Spanish for "much badasstic". Used to describe the level of badassedness above normal but below "Maximum Badassiticity".

Used in a video titled, “The Top Five Things With Which Jason Bourne Could Beat Your Ass” along with Badassery, Badassedness, Badassity, Badasstic, Badassical, Badassitudinous, Badassitious, and Badassiticity

After beating a man’s ass with a rolled-up magazine and killing him, Jason Bourne unscrewed the man’s gas main and jammed the aforementioned rolled-up magazine into the man’s toaster. In time it caught fire and ignited the gas in the house, which Jason Bourne used as cover to make his escape. This, you see, is the next level of badass i.e. Mucho Badasstico.

Ten-Year-Old Man

A male in their early twenties to late thirties who is thus technically an adult but has the mentality of a ten-year-old boy. Rather than being a productive member of society, i.e. seeking employment and paying taxes, he chooses to live with his parents, sit on his ass, play video games, and talk shit on the internet. He thinks people who slave away at jobs they hate all day are fools, but, in fact, when his parents either die or kick his sorry ass into the street and he realizes he has the survival skills of a disfigured newborn baby bird, he'll see the joke is on him.

Also known as a 30-Year-Old Boy.

Productive member of society: Why don't you grow up and move out of your parents' house?
Ten-Year-Old Man: Because I don't have to and I know how good I have it. You shouldn't have moved out, dummy-head!
Productive member of society: Right, enjoy having to be quiet after 10pm and asking for gas money to drive to the mall and drool over girls who are by now half your age.

Ten-Year-Old Man: I don't know what my problem is with girls.
Productive member of society: Gee, let me think, oh maybe it's because you're a 25-year-old man who still lives at home.
Ten-Year-Old Man: What's wrong with that? I save money that way.
Productive member of society: Girls want someone who can actually provide for himself, not someone who's too scared to leave the nest. Also, if the opportunity to have sex DID present itself, they don't want to have it on your parents' couch.

Ten-Year-Old Man: How do you do dishes?
Productive member of society: What do you mean, don't you do dishes at home?
Ten-Year-Old Man: No, my mom does them.
Productive member of society: Your mom? Aren't you like 30 years old? No wonder nobody likes you.
Ten-Year-Old Man: Oh yeah, log on to World of Warcraft and say that shit!
Productive member of society: Whatever, loser.

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Fuck up the Donuts

To prevent coworkers from receiving a cheap incentive (often free donuts) proposed by their employer in exchange for being “accident free” for a prescribed period of time. Such miniscule incentives often inadvertently encourage employees not to report potentially serious injuries and not to visit doctors on the company’s dime, for fear of hostility of coworkers who have by now begun to value such incentives above each other’s well-being.

Guy 1: Ouch, I think I cut my hand. I’m going to have to report it to management.
Guy 2: Oh great, now we’re going to be back to 0 days accident free. Way to fuck up the donuts!

Guy 1: Yeah she slipped and fell. It broke her neck.
Guy 2: So what? We were only 3 days away from free donuts and she fucked it up.
Guy 1: Here come the EMTs with her now.
Guy 2: Way to fuck up the donuts, lady! Thanks a lot!

Guy 1: Dude, you’re bleeding like a stuck pig!
Guy 2: I’ll be fine. Just give me some paper towels and duct tape. Hurry, before a manager sees this and makes me report it. I don’t want to fuck up the donuts.

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Head Noise

The intense thoughts in one’s head, often due to anxiety, stress, or elation, which seem to be louder than and may cause one to be unresponsive to one’s environment.

“Be home by ten.” “What?” “I said be home by ten.” “Sorry, I’m so excited for tonight I couldn’t hear you over my head noise.”

“The teacher said you only have to study the first two chapters.” “He never said that!” “Yeah he did, he was standing right by you when he said it.” “Oh, I don’t know why I didn’t hear that part. I’m so stressed about this assignment.” “I guess your head noise drowned him out.”

“Hmm, what?” “Seriously dude? We’ve been talking to you for like 5 minutes.” “Sorry, I was daydreaming. The head noise was up full blast.”

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neobrat quickpost cryptics

People whose posts in public forums, in the interest of saving time (at most a matter of seconds), are severely abbreviated and mispunctuated (often via a quickpost application) to the point where they are barely intelligible, if at all. Sometimes these people cannot spell or read to begin with, and they insist on using slang and/or all caps. The nightmarish "finished product" of such posts may actually cause the astute reader to experience migraines and epileptic seizures. I first heard the term used by OwlHoot on sci.tech-archive.net.

neobrat quickpost cryptic 1: 4xampl,thos who rite lik this.u get it,the worse of the worse,tho there r
other xampls not as bad.want more neobrat quickpost virtuosities sent 2 u? (OwlHoot)

neobrat quickpost cryptic 2: LMFAO...@ THESE BRAWDZ...DELET ME BLOK ME...IDGAF...BUT I TELL U ONE THING WHEN SEE DONT UTTER TO YO TO SAY SHYT 2 ME...DNT TRY TO ACT LIKE WE FAM OR FRENDS...CUZ I DNT FUC WIT BOOGI ASS HOES ANY WAY! SO KEEP MINE UP OUT YO MOUF...CUZ I WILL MAKE A TRIP! IT AINT NEVA EEN NO HO N ME! NOW RUN TELL DAT! SHO (lamebook)

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Badassitude

A marriage of the words "Badass" and "Attitude". Literally meaning the attitude cultivated by a badass.

I know you think you're tough, but don't mess with that guy. His badassitude is bigger than yours.

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Badassitudinous

Full of, abounding in, having, possessing the qualities of badassitude

Used in a video titled, “The Top Five Things With Which Jason Bourne Could Beat Your Ass” along with Badassery, Badassedness, Badassity, Badasstic, Badassical, Badassitious, Mucho Badasstico, and Badassiticity

Jason Bourne fought and killed a guy with a hand towel. The fact that the guy had a straight razor was immaterial because Jason Bourne is badassitudinous.