Widgy-nose

Someone whose long and bent nose is always running

Girl 'You're quite attractive'
Mike 'achoo'
Girl 'oh god, you've got a bloody widgy-nose'

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Smegma-mouth

1. When an individuals skin around the mouth has been coated with semen and the unwitting individual has let it dry.

'It looks like Scholfield had a good time last night he has a right smegma-mouth'

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