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When you are getting a blow job and you quickly pullout, stick a jumbo marshmallow on the tip of your penis and jam it back in his mouth.
"This guy was giving me a blowjob last night so I hit him with the good ol Smithfield S'more. He choked so hard bits came out his nose."
When you're at the beach and get a handjob and use sand for extra friction.
"My girl gave me The Shitty Gritty a month ago and my penis is still raw"
When you take a water can from your truck, secure the nozzle in your asshole, and give yourself a good colon cleansing.
"Gave myself a good Smithfield Cleanser the other day and I tell ya man I feel great! Yall should give it a try"
When a person (preferably a female) shits their pants while wearing a thong. The string then cuts the turd in two.
"Where is Brenda"
"Oh you didn't hear? She had to go home and change because she pulled the Wisconsin cheese cutter"
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