Chris

A sexy beast who always comes to the rescue. He helps you recover from the typical douche-bag boyfriend. A penguin-lover by nature, he can be seen on the football field or at his hot college girlfriend's unsupervised house. Also, he has a massively huge cock, but always gets himself into trouble by betting chipotle. Beware: if this specimen begins to sing screamo put your fingers in your ears because the result could be deadly.

Chris, stop talking about penguins.

Chris, you're hurting me, go slower.

Chris, you are not the lead singer of disturbed.

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