lit

The act of getting completely stoned and wastingly drunk.
This started when the hippies found that pot keeps you from having a hangover the next morning.
"Lit" people are usually too drunk to be mellow and too bombed to hurt others, this results in them bleeding themselves.

"Duuude, we all got lit last night and Tom jumped out the window trying to make it to the neighbors roof."

Me: puff, puff, pass
lit idiot: "watch me break this door with my head"
Me: "I'll call the ambulance in advance so you won't have to wait so long"
<lit idiot breaks head with door>

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screw the pooch

v.
1. To utterly and completely ruin a work venture, akin to "a royal fuck up".

2. The act of rendering something useless

3. To waste time. Usually connected to people not working to their potential.

"Bob really screwed the pooch on that assignment. Not a single stat was correct"

"Jen loves to screw the pooch. She has a world record high score in tetris on her office computer."

.... You know how (in the California highway construction) one guy actually works, while 3 guys stand around holding shovels watching him? - Those guys went to Screw the Pooch college to learn how to do that.

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cabana boy

1 n. The sissy fruitcake offering towels at resorts.
2 v. Proof that some males can be softer than the Teletubbies.

"Man, some nasty looking guy is hitting on me. He bought me a drink." "Relax, it's just the cabana boy"

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sock n lock

A home made weapon.
It's made by putting a heavy lock (e.g.: a master lock) in a balled up sock, then in the other from the pair.
It draws from the Morningstar or "mace and chain" style bludgeoning techniques
Its fast to make, and non-assembled is not considered a deadly weapon. It deals far more damage then merely swinging a heavy chain.

Its sometimes referred to as a smiley due to the mark left by the locks bolt.

Back in the 30's, idiots rumbled with chains, bats, and switchblades. Now they rumble with guns, but I still use my sock n lock to bash up the neighborhood cars.

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gfw

An acronym for Gun Fearing Wussies. Usually a political Liberal, hippy (former or current) or treehugger who believes that the cause of all violence is firearms (as opposed to the belief that violence is caused by violent people).
GFW's are usually the loudest in trying to outlaw ownership of personal weapons, as they believe that there is no reason to own a firearm.

My hippie neighbor Bob is a GFW. He thinks we should go hunting with flowers and that growing a vegetable garden is very manly.
He gave us a speech of how we should be spending more time saving baby whales and less time washing.

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