Gleamen

Semen minus the sperm

" I never told her I was shooting blanks, so after injecting her full of quarts of gleamen on many occasions, she though she was invincible and got knocked up prudently after playing the field of multiple cocks

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Exploding Bowtie

To prominently deficate on a supine slumbering individual superior to the chest, but inferior of the neck, and upon completion, awakening the individual, who then looks down, causing the freshly laid fecal matter to be compressed by the individuals chin, and splattering in a bowtie formation.

If i come home and find her sleeping as usual, I am going to have to administer the exploding bowtie.