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Imagine Dragon deez nuts

An excuse to say deez nuts to someone. Can also be used as a knock knock joke for example.

Person A: Knock Knock.
Person B: Who’s there?
Person A: Imagine.
Person B: Imagine who?
Person A: Imagine Dragon deez nuts across your face boi! Hah, got ‘em!
Person B: *angry emoji*

by Mikkebak May 5, 2023

2👍 1👎


Scremus Retardis Kerenis

A special type of the (Homo Sapiens Sapiens) also known as the modern human, this specimen has a limited vocabulary, only being capable of speaking words like "refund, manager, and free", while being able to parrot some other words. They are an extremely demanding specimen who are ill mannered, short tempered and are best kept at a safe distance, and anyone unfortunate enough to encounter them in the wild should make sure to keep a good distance from them if possible. Should you be unlucky enough to encounter one while possessing a job in the service industry, the best way to deal with them is to follow your training, remaining calm at all times and if the situation doesn’t sort itself, get backup from a manager.

*Karen at the clothes store*
Karen: I have a 50% off coupon for this, * hands over coupon*.
Cashier: I’m sorry Miss, but this coupon is only valid for Men’s wear at full price which would make this more expensive than this already is, since this is at a 60% clearance sale, in addition this coupon expired last week.
Karen: But I couldn’t make it last week so I called to ask if it could be extended and I got a yes to that.
Cashier: Well I’m sorry but we can’t give extensions without a managers approval.
*Karen gets frustrated and starts screaming at the cashier that she needs this at 110% off, and makes a big scene. A couple of customers behind her, an Aussie with his bird as well as his best friend stands in line watching the commotion unfold*
Aussie: Hey, that Karen looks a lot like a Scremus Retardis Kerenis right?
Best friend: Yeah, I didn’t think I’d be able to see one in the wild, it’s amazing how she can actually act like that, I would’ve died of embarrassment if my wife acted like that.

by Mikkebak July 24, 2021

3👍 2👎


You know why I’m here.

Often accompanied by someone playing a few seconds of the song titled "Sicko Mode" by Travis Scott, they are the cursed words every single McDonald’s employee had to listen to day in and day out every single day between September 8th and October 4th 2020 when excited customers came to order the meal at their local McDonald’s, some even visiting several as they reportedly had shortages on common items found in the meal due to the popularity of the promotion. If you’d like to see some of this madness for yourself, search up "you know why I’m here" on YouTube. (Without the quotation marks.)

McDonald’s employee: Hi, welcome to McDonald’s can I take your order?

Customer: You know why I’m here. (plays Sicko Mode)

Employee: *sighs internally* You want some Sprite with that?

Customer: Yeah.

by Mikkebak August 10, 2021


Barnes and Unstable

From the 2015 movie Pixels. Something Sam Brenner (Adam Sandler) said as a joke to Ludlow Lamonsoff (Josh Gad) in response to a picture book made by Ludlow which he showed to Sam.

You should sell it at Barnes and Unstable.

by Mikkebak October 1, 2022


world’s tiniest violin

"Playing the world’s worlds tiniest violin" as many people would call it, is when you rub your pointer finger and thumb together in a steady motion, which basically signals to anyone you do it towards that you expect money from them. Bellboys and luggage carriers often used to do this back in day in hotels when they wanted a tip but didn’t want to be so straight forwards as to ask for it directly although it has been used plenty of other places too.

Me: Hey, do you wanna see Home Alone 2 tonight?
My friend: Again? But we’ve seen it 7 times now!
Me: Yeah, 7 times over 7 years! Come on, it’s basically a tradition at this point when we get here to the cabin! The internet isn’t working right now so why not?
My Friend: Fine, but I still don’t like that bellboy Cedrick, he keeps playing the world’s tiniest violin all the time, it’s annoying!
Me: you do know that he’s not playing a violin, he’s asking for tips, it’s just a funny word we use to describe it.
My friend: Ohh...

by Mikkebak December 17, 2020

6👍 3👎


H

H means ecchi in Japanese, which is why you almost never see anything labeled with ecchi unless it’s western, because the Japanese use H instead of writing ecchi.

Wanna go down to akihabara and get some H?

Hell yeah! I need a new H game anyways.

by Mikkebak September 10, 2021

2👍 1👎


Who wants chowder?

A question uttered by Lois Griffin from the FOX hit tv series Family Guy. In season 4 episode 8, Peter has acquired a bottle of ipecac syrup from Mort’s pharmacy and challenges all the males in the household to a drinking contest for the last piece of pie in the fridge. After a little wait, one by one they start vomiting as mass vomiting ensues, leaving most of the entire living room covered in vomit before Lois emerges from the kitchen holding a casserole and asking the question, making everyone else vomit once more at the same time.

Brian: Ok, ok… I think it’s all gone. I think it- *vomits again*
Stewie(while crying and rocking back and forth): I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna… *vomits again*
Brian: Peter, Peter I need you to hold my ears- *vomits again*
Peter: *vomits on Brian’s head and moans in pain as the others do too*

Louis(emerging from the kitchen): Who wants chowder?

by Mikkebak January 3, 2022

1👍 1👎