Shit Kick

A devastatingly deranged act of violence.
This ferocious stunt is enacted in statistically rare cases by someone who is more than likely to be an acquaintance of yours.

The attacker instantaneously decides to go for a walk outside to deliberately step in dog shit. The objective is to return inside with the purpose of kicking you in the face.

Eg. “Oh my God! Look at Lawrence, his face is covered in blood and shit!”
“Yeah, he’s just been awarded a shit kick!”

Eg. “Sally came running round the corner and jumped up to deliver a shit kick to Colin’s face.”
“Colin fu****g stinks. I’m going out for lunch.”

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Foreache

An intense and debilitating physiological pain that starts at the forehead. The pain usually penetrates the rest of the skull within minutes.

These traumatising audio waves typically emanate from a loud, dense and obnoxious office colleague who bellows out offensive, half-witted sweeping generalisations for everyone to hear.

Eg. If she doesn’t stop yapping, she’s going to give me a foreache!

Eg. “Dear God, please be quiet for a minute, you’re giving me a foreache!”