Condom

Something you forgot to wear last night when you were doing your girlfriend.

You: Oops, I forgot to wear a condom. Oh well, who gives a shit?

5👍 8👎

Tampon

Something my little brother tried to stick up his asshole.

Me: No, Tommy, don't shove that tampon up your ass!
Tommy: Too wate oldie brothie...

63👍 14👎

lmbmm

Lean Mean Baby Making Machine

Dam she a fine lmbmm.

She's my lmbmm.