book

It's like the Internet made out of a tree.

Brian: You are really pretty
Girl at Bar: Thanks
Brian: You know, uh, I wrote a book
Girl at Bar: What's that?
Brian: It's like a long magazine
Girl at Bar: Huh?
Brian: It's like the Internet made out of a tree
Girl at Bar: Oh, weird. You want to have sex in the bathroom?
Brian: Oh gosh, what a treat, yes I would like that

15👍 10👎

Detroit Babysitter

Using a chain and padlock to restrain your kid so you can go buy groceries and/or gamble at the Windsor Casino.

She wanted to go out and party, but she didn't want her 4-year-old messing up the crack house while she was gone, so she used a Detroit Babysitter.

31👍 12👎