Phone Licker

Noun. Derogatory.

1. A window licker for the 21st century: typically an intellectually stunted grown man so wrapped in technology that they could clean their cellphone's screen with their tongue in public and think nothing of it. Has a tendency to be hardcore fanatics for escapism tailored for people half their age; for example: comic book movies, pre-teen or teen fiction, children's cartoons and video games. See: Man child

2. A person whose phone has made them figuratively retarded, all self-awareness depleted from their mind. They treat their phone like a best friend in order to compensate for their social awkwardness.

John sat in the corner playing free to play games on his phone as the party commenced around him. John is a phone licker.

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Freudian Slide

A Freudian slip that lasts far too long to simply be a slip of the tongue.

Example #1:

Hey, can I borrow a pe-pe-penis penis penis Penis Penis PENIS PENIS VAGINA PENIS pencil please? Sorry, Freudian slide.

Example #2:

Woman: So what's your favorite color?
Man: Well, I think my favorite color's I'd like to bend you over my knee and spank your butt raw....I mean blue.

Counter Cocked

You (a man) take off your pants to show off your goods. She responds by showing hers. Uh-oh. Looks like she's not a she at all, and it's bigger than yours. Guess what? You just got counter cocked.

Jimmy knew he was about to have a long night when she lifted her skirt and counter cocked him by a multiple of three.

Shaqgasm

Noun
1. A physical or mental sensation so amazing it can be compared to Shaquille O’Neal's basketball skeelz.
2. Something pleasing enough to figuratively make the person ejaculate as much as Shaquille O’Neal can.
3. To ejaculate a huge load as if you were 7 ft 1 in, 325 lb and the greatest man to ever live.

1. "Jessica Biel...mmm, just thinking about her gives me a shaqgasm."
3. Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has given me a serious raging shaqgasm.

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Cum Fu Grip

An individual that gives a handjob like they're trying to strangle a grizzly bear to death.

John walked funny for five days thanks to Lisa's cum fu grip handjob.

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