Textile Dysfunction

Inability to maintain lasting performance in clothing, leading to social and psychological consequences. Mizzen+Main has cured thousands of men suffering from Textile Dysfuction in their dress shirts.

Side effects may include bloated self-esteem, excessive confidence, modeling contracts, adoration, winning at everything, and a higher sense of well-being.

Hey man, looks like you've got a bad case of Textile Dysfunction. In other words, you look like shit! Have you heard of Mizzen+Main? They've got a cure!