Pig Shit and Tram Tickets

Used to describe the aroma of Pipe Tobacco, Ducados or Gitanes.

'Fuck me man, what the fuck is he smokin' Pig Shit and Tram Tickets'?

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Shag Baton

A penis. Normally a large penis

'Man you should have seen her face when i got the old Shag Baton out........She was lovin' it'

olympic

A bowel movement, generally quite large, which immediately preceeds participation in a sporting event.

'Are you off to the game now?'

'No, Im just going for an Olympic, I'll be back in five and we'll head off then!'

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Budgie Lips

Term used to describe someone who appears to drinking their beer at the same speed as everyone else yet takes very small sips from their pint, normally taking ages to finish it. This is normally used to conceal the fact that they can drink no more, or that they are just rubbish at drinking.

'John you want another pint while I'm at the bar?'

'No thanks mate I'm fine'

'fack me John you've had that pint for hours. Have you got budgie lips today, or what?'

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Poolystyrene

An array of small pellet like poo's which are lighter than water and therefore float on the surface.

Are renowned for being very, very difficult to flush away

Man entering cubicle "Ohh what, someone has shit in the pan and not flushed"

Man washing Hands "I did flush actually, about 8 times, but it appears I have had a bout of poolystyrene so it just keeps bobbing about"

Man entering cubicle "Ok.......

Ten Percenter

The retard who collects the trollies in the local supermarket, or helps you pack your groceries whilst dribbling into the carrier bag!

'Hey Hey Stand back dude, I think this guy may be drunk'

'Nah, he's just a Ten Percenter, leave him be'

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scammel wheel nuts

Affectionate term to describe hard nipples

'Look at those beauties. Like Scammel wheel nuts!'

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