Baby

Living, breathing proof that your condom failed.

Mother: "Little Timmy sure is growing up to be a fine young man!"
Father: "yeah, he's the worst fail I've ever made."
Mother: "I'm so proud of our accidental baby."

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Proud

Something your parents could never be of you.

Man, I tried so hard. I got a great job, finished college, got married and had a family, but my parents still weren't proud of me.

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