Leah

Leah is a biblical name that's literal meaning is 'To fester'.

If you know a Leah, you probably mistake her for an unsightly bulge in the sofa every now and then.

She has had some magical expanding pyjamas fitted at birth - you will never EVER see her wearing anything else.

Thats not to say she does nothing, she can roll joints like its an olympic sport, and has occasionally been known to sing. Though don't ask her to sing anything she doesn't already know, as this would involve moving to get the lyrics.

Moving is very dangerous to Leahs. She may have a psychotic episode or rupture a spleen or something.

If you want to date/sleep with/fondle a Leah, all you have to do is make sure she has enough weed to hand and she probably won't even notice!
Despite all this, she makes a very effective babysitter (i.e. you can run out of the door before her and she has no choice.)

Another benefit of a pet Leah is that she rarely needs feeding, and practically anything you give her to eat will be regarded as 'immense'. Possibly because she hasn't had to get up and cook it.

'Where's Leah?? Has she gone out?'
'No, the kids have just thrown their coats over her again'

'Doctor, I'm worried I might be a necrophiliac'
'What makes you think that?'
'I shagged a Leah last night'
'Nurse! Fetch the straight jacket! Another necrophiliac nutter in here!'

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