shardguard

A protective, cotton type plug usually inserted to help protect against sharding in one's trousers. Usually effects the population born before the 1960's.

Hey Glady's, did you notice Helga hasn't sharded all day. I bet she bought shardguards after that disaster in aisle 5 of Wal-mart.

or

She sharted so hard last time that her shardguard burned a whole right through her Depends.

Dropped a Jussie

Someone laying a taper-headed , peanut- backed steamer in the bathroom.

Man, that dude just dropped a Jussie and I can smollett from here

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Chasheened

The act of totally F'n up. Any Hollywood liberal type that just totally screws himself/herself up. Wasted, crack head, hooker chasing buffoon.

Man last night, I was at a strip club and got totally chasheened. Don't remember a thing about it.