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our high school reunion

Your high school reunion goals will vary.
5 years: look like you drove straight from the beach, toast your dead friends, drain the bar, get laid.
10 years: own it, crush it, get blown repeatedly.
20 years: arrive late, sit down with your remaining friends who saved you a seat and ordered your favorite cocktail, get blown at the reunion and shag in the hotel.
30 years: get a room, bring color coded wrist bands and hand them out to the girls you want to blow you, tug you, bang etc.

Her: "Hi! I'm so glad you made it to our high school reunion!"
You: "Where's the bar? Your ass looks great! You got a room? Here's a wrist band."

by Mr special September 11, 2018

1πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


into archeology

Being into older women.

" WTF? He's banging his mother in law?"
"Hey, he's into archeology.

"Your date is your step-grandmother?"
"Yup."
"How into archeoloy are you?"

by Mr special September 11, 2018

2πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Facebook

Life clutter. A waste of time.

Facebook is such a waste of time. It's like life clutter. I don't miss it at all.

by Mr special September 2, 2018


forensic kinesiology

A scientific method to find what you've lost, typically at home but not always, after a black out drunk. To recreate the probable motions you went through last night when you fell cause you were so wasted.

Dude: I was so drunk last night I don't remember coming home and then this morning I can't find my wallet.
Dudette: Well all the broken shit in your living room cries out for a forensic kinesiology solution for the missing wallet.

by Mr special August 28, 2018


Birthday month girl

The girl whose birthday is being celebrated for the month leading up to her birthday. Everyday she receives something in the mail for her birthday. From postcards to sealed cards to wrapped packages.

"What's with the cool stuff you're getting in the mail?"
"I'm the birthday month girl."

"What's her deal?"
"She's the birthday month girl."
"Oh. So she's special."
"There's no talking to her."

by Mr special November 2, 2018


gothchickinacrownvic

A girl that refuses to submit to society's norms but expects everyone to bend to her will. Exemplified by her goth lifestyle and her driving a Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor.

"That blonde goth girl will let me buy her drinks if I stay the fuck away from her."

"Yeah she's a gothchickinacrownvic."

by Mr special July 8, 2019


Short strokes

Near completion

"Are you finished jacking off?"
"I'm down to the short strokes."

"How's dinner coming?"
"I'm down to the short strokes."

by Mr special August 18, 2019

3πŸ‘ 5πŸ‘Ž