thick and pasty twenty-wiper

When you take a massive dump that makes you wipe your ass so many times you end up using half a roll of toilet paper

Friend: Damn! You were in the john forever.

Me: Dude, it turned into be a thick and pasty twenty-wiper.

Lane Jockey

A driver who weaves in and out of traffic, with frequent lane changes, in the hopes of reaching their destination 2-3 minutes faster than those behind them. They usually fail to use their turn indicators. Same type of driver who pulls the on-ramp hero maneuver.

Did you see that f*cking lane jockey? He nearly caused a wreck!