bovine wine

Defined as a glass of fresh cows milk.

"After last night I had way too much alcohol so tonight I'm just having the bovine wine."
"What the hell is that?"
"You know, 'moo juice'..... milk"

Olympdicks

The level to which the status of Olympic sport has sunk due to the widespread culture of doping

From now on because of all the drugs in sport I'm renaming the Olympics the Olympdicks

coffeeopathy

Consumption of small amounts of coffee for good health
as in homeopathy.

People keep telling me that too much coffee is bad for you, so I just practice coffeeopathy once a day before lunch.

old age

Anyone who is 20 years older than you are

Old age is a shifting scale. When you are 10, 30 is old. When you reach 30, 50 seems old. When you reach 50, 70 seems old and so on. So it is a shifting scale where nobody ever thinks they are old.

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worthless as an election promise

In view of politicians making promises before an election but invariably breaking them after an election.
Therefore the lowest possible denominator of the value of something can be described in this way.

'Jack's commitment to give up smoking is as worthless as an election promise.'

'Yeah, he won't last a day.'

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